Summary
Zombies have overrun Raccoon City and need to be shot, high-kicked and blown up to complete a rescue mission... almost like a videdo game! Sadly, there are no cute little zombie racoons, but there are yucky zombie dogs, some giant weird monster things, and lots of stupid, stupid dialog. In short, it's a big stupid zombie movie and not worthwhile even to see Milla Jovovich naked (she's very skinny).
Warning! Spoilers ahead!
 |  | |
Barbara's Rant
Seriously, why would you use the name "Racoon City" and not have a little fun with it? It wouldn't have to be zombie racoons, it could have just been cute little mask logos for the police cars. Hey, speaking of zombie racoons, wouldn't the presence of the killer zombie dogs imply that other zombie animals might be running around as well? Forget racoons, what about swarms of zombie squirrels marauding through the parks? Zombie cats stalking the street and yowling in unearthly voices, zombie rats climbing out of sewer grates, zombie guinea pigs ferociously nibbling on people's toes... the possibilities are endless! I wonder if the Umbrella Corporation (and again, no umbrella logos, boo) did any testing on cross-species transmission of the virus. I'm guessing not since their procedures don't seem to be exactly airtight. If it was transmissible to rats or something, their idiotic nuke 'em solution would have been even more ineffective.
Honestly, was this supposed to be before the advent of email and instantaneous global communication? If there was time for news broadcasts (with film) about the crazed zombies attacking the city, there was time for plenty of conspiracy theory blogging and email on the subject, certainly enough to raise questions about the events before the oh-so-convenient nuclear meltdown. Eh, never mind, I don't know why I'm bothering trying to find logic in this mess.
Except maybe one more thing. Why, oh why introduce those lame orc-monsters? It was like they took every enemy they could think of and just threw them all at the wall to see what stuck. Zombies, government troops, killer dogs, evil corporate masters, monsters in big boots... it's just too much. The orc-monsters were the worst, though. As silly as he was, at least the one they paired up with Milla Jovovich had the little bit of Nemesis backstory . But those things in the church... I still don't know what the hell they were supposed to be, and furthermore I don't care. They kind of looked like the Nemesis monster, but they moved totally differently, and for some reason after their appearance there was no further mention of them. Maybe they were one of Umbrella's other failed research projects. I really think the NSF needs to apply more oversight to their lab work.
BARBARA MAY
What do you think? Talk back here!
Post a Comment []
